elopement at under age

I had a friend while I was studying in class 9. She was a bit panky type and she had eloped when she was in class 9, from then she didn’t continue her study and now has been the mother of two sons. Whenever I remember her story I feel suffocated with her life and her decision. Of course, elopement may not bring only the melancholies in life but as I have seen the elopement at under age has always been proved dangerous.

Elopement basically refers to marry secretly especially when the parental consensus is absent. The couple flees away from their home without any prior information so that they can live together. If any one among the pair or both are under the age of 20, then that type of elopement is labeled as the elopement under age.

For me, it has always been the matter of head ache and I hope that most of the people are also against it. The lack of any skill to generate any economic power, lack of decision making power, immature physical and mental status are in fact the prime cause for embarrassment in this sort of elopement.

By nature, the people under this age group crave for the immediate fulfillment of their needs and desires without actually pondering about the future. In fact, their heart runs a mile away than their mind. Whatever the future may drive them to, is a damn care for them.

The caste and status barrier and the lack of effective communication skill with parents count a lot for the development of this sort of trend. The family atmosphere in Nepal cannot digest the more modern and fashionable trend. Even today, the caste and status barrier exist in Nepal. Nevertheless in the place where the love is regarded as sin, how can the couple confess their love? That’s why rather than to confess their love, they find an easy way out and that is elopement. “The more you are kept from loving someone, the more you love them”, this formula basically implies in such condition.

The films, especially the love stories indeed arouse a feeling within the under age girls and boys for the same romantic and adventurous love stories in which the couple though has to face much hardships in life usually get happy endings at last. The willingness and infinite love crammed in the actors and actresses as shown in the film has subtle effect on their mind and more especially in the mind of teen age and under age. Moreover, the crave for the fulfillment of biological need also drives them for so. They are severely engrossed with the feeling of departure and so want to have an immediate conjugation.

This is all about the elopement trend in urban area. Of course, these factors can also count a lot even in rural area but the poverty and illiteracy is also a major cause there. The poverty stricken girls especially in the rural area prefer to run away with someone richer than them and someone who can make their life more comfortable. Illiteracy at such a time can play a lead role for such a harsh decision. Moreover the early marriage has a strenuous grip over the rural areas and when the marriage is not held as per the concerned person’s will, then there is a higher chance for the elopement.

It’s just a part and now we are to ponder over the influencing aspects after elopement. The decision up to elopement may be adventurous for the couple but the days after them may not have exactly entered their mind core and now they are to experience their life obstacles. The hardships of their life may be adventurous for them for a few days or for few months but the continuous hardships desertifies their life. May be they were sure about contraceptives but who could take the guarantee of their economy and its the economic foundation upon which the life of every one rests. If both of them are indulged in earnings then their economic status may be satisfactory but what about the educational level. Soon they will realize that life is not a film and no divine spirit is going to help them any more and now they will taste the consequence of their harsh decision. In most of the cases the condition is not even comfortable as I have stated above as it is a far cry that they will consider about contraceptives. The delivery followed by it will indeed have a massive impact upon the couple as the demand will increase. The pre-mature delivery deteriorates the life thereafter. The love for which they had claimed to have sacrificed their life will eventually wane away and what will remain is stress and hatred. Spoiled marital life will follow them eventually leading to divorce.

There are only the rare success stories in this field and it is possible only after the sound economic condition or strong support from someone else.

There is no any hard and fast solution for it as it is related to heart more than the mind. However I think the effective communication with parents can have 50% solution, which has still a long way to go in Nepal. The elimination of caste and status barrier, more freedom regarding the matter of sex, searching alternatives for the fulfillment of biological needs, awareness and the good socialization may have a strong role in this regard.

So what you will choose? Do you like to spend a life like my friend as stated in the beginning? If so then I hope you will now ponder about this aspect and make an effective decision, the decision is up to you.

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